I applied to Miss USA…and got in.
If you told me two years ago I’d be getting ready to compete for Miss Colorado USA, I wouldn’t have believed it.
What happened two years ago?
Two years ago, I met a handful of people that lived with boldness.
Living with boldness means choosing life over fear, belief over doubt, and love over pride. Living in the presence of that kind of bold faith doesn’t permit me to give up on myself, or life, or my dreams.
"Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure. But now I find I can't stop wanting. I want to surprise myself. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to define myself instead of having others define me. I want to win and have people be happy for me. I want to lose and get over it. I want to not be afraid of the unknown. I want to be generous and big-hearted, the way people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. The possibility that things are going to change…I can't wait."
{Friday Night Lights}
Miss USA is on big stage with bright lights, and there is nothing that terrifies me like public speaking. To get ready, my mentor suggested I start doing announcements at church.
The first time I did announcements at church it was a solid 90 degrees in the 1920’s church we meet in. I sweat through my cardigan by sound check. I have never been so nervous.
This is the part where I tell you I got up there, got through it, and got over the fear.
It’s still terrifying. My voice still shakes. Standing up there, shaky voice and sweaty palms, I’m reminded of the manifesto I wrote for Miss USA:
“Heroes let others watch as their tears stream, their voices shake, and every day they grow stronger, more passionate, more compassionate, and more terrifically alive.”
Maybe living a life characterized by boldness is a better story than a life lived without fear.
Fear will always be there standing between us and the story we want to write with our lives. The choice to live with boldness will always make up the difference.
Boldness is choosing life over fear every day. Boldness is waking up every morning to work hard and love harder. Boldness is refusing to be stopped on that mission.
Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.
Love wins,
Lisamarie
